THIS: "I don’t think there’s a right or a wrong way to do this, or to get through any difficult life situation. We’re all just doing our best with the resources we have in any given moment. The main thing is not to abandon yourself, knowing you can come back to things when you’re ready. That’s what I’m planning to do."
Damn right, Harriet!
You've been through so much - sending over hugs. I suppose there must be some expectation on some level that it's 'easy' to replicate what worked before... but, like with every Big thing that changes us in life, we're not the same as we were before; it changed us. So, it's another do-over trying to navigate forward but with the added frustration of past hacks working less well this time or not clicking as well...While I don't have cancer...I'm empathising from the perspective of being on a second big caregiving rollercoaster, while supporting others friends/family/chosen family too...each one different.
You are so right that past hacks don't always work quite right or the same as before, because as you say the situation is different. Sounds like you are navigating a lot and extra layers to life too, have you found any good new hacks that are helping you?
Hi Hon - some are in the article I published today.
But mostly I've absorbed the insights from several people who've done research/psychology that I can reflect on and adapt to me...no easy solutions I'm afraid but a lot of comforting resonance, and incisive insights!
I just wanted to say that I hope it wasn't overwhelming. I'm hoping the TED Talks can be easy access and my articles can summarise key points for you.
As you may realise, I've boundless curiosity and I'm a nerdy researcher at heart....these are traits that have saved me through all my rollercoasters pre caregiving, but especially now.
le petit drapeau blanc had me snorting out loud! thank you my beloved friend for your vulnerability and humor. can’t wait to see you again next month and check out your wigs. 😘
Maybe we should make that our aim, to snort with laughter at ridiculous shit and take the piss out of life's rollercoaster, every day. We could even make it a 30 day challenge to laugh in the face of life's bullshit...way more fun that the usual change your mindset/get more clients online challenges!
Yep. Look the devil in the eye , with a steely eye and say fuck you. Love your resilience. Wish you well. You have to scream the right answer to the question 'Who's in charge' ME.
As a prostate cancer guy that is my devil. So yes it is one of my favourite mantras(amongst many) I use it often to empower my resilience. Am a non creedance guy anyway. So no worries.
I could share some crazy stories that will make you feel like your life is boring? Or lull you to sleep with my bedtime stories. But what one of my friends loved the most was my honey cakes that I baked for her team and a year later admitted she ate the lot.
I know this road too. Your words brought both ache and comfort, thank you. You write with fire in your pen and create fireworks as you do.
Thankyou! Sending love to your ache 💖 I wonder whether some fiery writing ever helps you too, even if you keep it private and don't want to share?
My pen, a blade, by fury drawn,
Skims the page like dusk to dawn.
Anger fuels each sharpened line.
A quiet storm in every sign.
Oh this, a thousand times this, so beautiful and so perfectly articulated. Your words feel like a fabulous gift so thankyou ❤️🔥
THIS: "I don’t think there’s a right or a wrong way to do this, or to get through any difficult life situation. We’re all just doing our best with the resources we have in any given moment. The main thing is not to abandon yourself, knowing you can come back to things when you’re ready. That’s what I’m planning to do."
Damn right, Harriet!
You've been through so much - sending over hugs. I suppose there must be some expectation on some level that it's 'easy' to replicate what worked before... but, like with every Big thing that changes us in life, we're not the same as we were before; it changed us. So, it's another do-over trying to navigate forward but with the added frustration of past hacks working less well this time or not clicking as well...While I don't have cancer...I'm empathising from the perspective of being on a second big caregiving rollercoaster, while supporting others friends/family/chosen family too...each one different.
You are so right that past hacks don't always work quite right or the same as before, because as you say the situation is different. Sounds like you are navigating a lot and extra layers to life too, have you found any good new hacks that are helping you?
Hi Hon - some are in the article I published today.
But mostly I've absorbed the insights from several people who've done research/psychology that I can reflect on and adapt to me...no easy solutions I'm afraid but a lot of comforting resonance, and incisive insights!
- Did I share this one with you: https://www.carermentor.com/p/a-caregivers-top-ten-annual-re-reads
- I highly recommend Susan David's 'Emotional Agility' https://www.carermentor.com/p/susan-davids-tedtalk-november-2017?utm_source=publication-search
- Bruce Feiler's Life is in the Transitions
https://www.carermentor.com/p/recommendation-bruce-feilers-life?utm_source=publication-search
Thankyou so much for all of these resources, that's very kind of you to share 🙏🙏
You're very welcome, Harriet.
I just wanted to say that I hope it wasn't overwhelming. I'm hoping the TED Talks can be easy access and my articles can summarise key points for you.
As you may realise, I've boundless curiosity and I'm a nerdy researcher at heart....these are traits that have saved me through all my rollercoasters pre caregiving, but especially now.
best wishes, xo
How else would you have discovered that you totally rock long flowy orange hair?! Brilliant article. Here's to ordinary days lived unremarkably...
Wouldn't that be wonderful. Can't wait for mundane days ahead!!
le petit drapeau blanc had me snorting out loud! thank you my beloved friend for your vulnerability and humor. can’t wait to see you again next month and check out your wigs. 😘
Why must cancer be so serious?! Thankyou for laughing with me xxxxx
yes yes yes - always and forever!
Maybe we should make that our aim, to snort with laughter at ridiculous shit and take the piss out of life's rollercoaster, every day. We could even make it a 30 day challenge to laugh in the face of life's bullshit...way more fun that the usual change your mindset/get more clients online challenges!
I hope your Thursday is boring and lovely all at once.
So far it has been very mundane and simple 🎉
Yep. Look the devil in the eye , with a steely eye and say fuck you. Love your resilience. Wish you well. You have to scream the right answer to the question 'Who's in charge' ME.
Have you ever told the devil to fuck off?! I wonder what happens next when you do that!
As a prostate cancer guy that is my devil. So yes it is one of my favourite mantras(amongst many) I use it often to empower my resilience. Am a non creedance guy anyway. So no worries.
Wishing you lots of strength (plus an appopriately boring Thursday)!
Can't wait for a boring Thursday!
you pop up in my thoughts at the most random of times. Sending you healing light and love and whatever you need.
Well cake is an excellent stepping stone to a drama free life! How lovely of you to make all of that for your friend, I'm sure she felt very loved.
You're so kind. I think I need a drama free life, if you have one to sell me at knock down prices?!
I could share some crazy stories that will make you feel like your life is boring? Or lull you to sleep with my bedtime stories. But what one of my friends loved the most was my honey cakes that I baked for her team and a year later admitted she ate the lot.
Words are failing me, and I’m so glad they aren’t failing you.
What a peek behind your big girl pants. Sending love and damn, wouldn’t a little ease (or more!) be nice too?